2020 - A decade of lessons

Looking back on a decade from a perspective of growth can be challenging when you're examining situations you found yourself in, it can be a crude practice of humility. It was for me. When I simplify the decade, there were several major shifts that occurred which guided me towards my outlook on life now and the path I find myself on. It was a decade of harsh and beautiful lessons; ones I needed in order for my heart to heal. When we aren't necessarily prepared as young adults for the challenges of life, we may make poor choices that may become habits of self sabotage. Unable to let go of a fear based mind set in childhood, we carry throughout our adulthood, unaware that it's even there. In fact, it's rather impressive that most of us arrive in a state of stability considering that instability in the world and the lack of self aware parents who teach their children solid life lessons. I think about all the time I spend analyzing myself, why I had such low self esteem all through my 20's, leading me into 2010. I was raised in a loving home with wonderful parents, but they had flaws and trauma they couldn't move beyond and I was always sensitive and longing for answers of optimism and hope. That combination led me on a journey of self discovery and ultimately learning how to find the answers within.

It's imperative that we don't compare our journey with any one else, which is easier said than done in a society reliant on social media pressures, false appearances and images we are constantly surrounded by. As a young adult, I mistook longing for sorrow. I assumed that because I wasn't content with the lessons I was taught and the way of thinking I was shown, that there was something wrong with me. In fact it was the opposite. It's as if I was given a pile of bricks at my feet. My choice was either to throw them at things causing damage along the way, or use them to create a path to carry me to another way of being. We need to be cogizant of the choices we make and why. Does it come from a place of fear? Fear of being judged, fear of loss, fear of the unknown, fear of abandonment? For introverted thinkers such as myself, life hold many mysteries. Don't avoid them. Use them to guide you. The questions you ask yourself are the answers you need to find.

Finding peace on the other side of the darkest nights only illuminates joy. The triumphs we acknowledge through the continuance of life hold our capacity to ascend. When you can reach beyond existence to retrieve wholeness, you finally understand the lesson.