The Bifurcation of Self - Ramifications for not stepping up

What is your first memory, happy or sad? That was the interpretation of life when you were young. You remember moments, looking back seemed simple and fleeting, but remained in your subconscious forever, place markers on a map guiding you along your journey into adulthood. Flashbacks to remind you of the juncture you faced when deciding to acknowledge the evidence of choices. So much was unknown then, infinite trust in those that cared for you, no semblance of doubt for the love they felt. You were innocent and free; games and birthday parties and school trips. Slowly, you became cogniznat of fear. There was either a moment of trauma vivid in your memory or a series of circumstances that lead you to awareness of this emotion. Likely it was sidestepped promptly, making room for a continued carefree childhood. As we age, there are unavoidable traumas we must look back on and accept. When we find ourselves in struggle as adults and wonder why we are triggered by certain circumstances, we must examine the cause. Trauma is generational. Trauma can begin before birth. Trauma is something everyone experiences within the constraints of their own unique perception of being. Trauma is ingrained and catastrophic. It lingers in our subconscious and becomes our personality. We become our trauma. 

For me, having children shifted my universe. I was suddenly perceptive of questions I didn’t even know existed. Even through the deepest depths of depression I faced as a teenager, there was a glimmer of hope I carried with me, guiding me into my future. My children were that hope. They illuminated infinity. They shattered my ego and allowed me to observe perfection. I absorbed it. I became a mirror of them, shinning bright as a star, blinding my trauma with wholeness. When I awoke from euphoria, I was able to see transparencies camouflaged as celebratory expeditions. The adult life I was leading was paved with broken pieces of anguish and avoidance. My children led me to the light.

We must forgive. Trauma is ubiquitous and exclusive. Everyone’s conflict is personal. You can’t compare trauma. The most effective way to move forward in life is to examine your childhood closely. Envision the moments that impacted you. Acknowledge the child that faced those incidence and forgive yourself and others involved. Close your eyes and envision yourself at that age. Affirm to them that everything will be ok because you are now in charge, you are now aware, you are now whole. Breath into that pain and release the emotion. 

We must heal. The majority of trauma is trapped within out subconscious mind. Most is habit, most is unavoidable. We must be able to alter that consciousness into a new way of thinking. When we are triggered by an event, our subconscious mind goes to work to shut that emotion off as soon as possible. The means to an end can be anything from avoidance to self sabotage behaviors. When our mind feels it is “safe” again, we then can continue the same behaviors we exhibited when stuck within our trauma. To break free of this cycle we must drastically change our reality. You must do something different to experience something new. Explore your lifestyle. What is your diet? The extent of damage in a poor diet is incalculable. Eat clean. Stop drinking coffee and alcohol and replace it with fruits and vegetables. Examine your personal life and those you spend your time with. Are they positive and uplifting? Do they challenge you to elevate to your highest potential or do they distribute additional suffering into your subconscious? Your intuition will tell you. 

We never truly step into our integrity until we move past our trauma. Freedom is our right, our goal. Mindfulness is clarity and service and escapism from despair. We co create our future through manifestations, affirmations and awareness. We breath through the trauma we endured and find an alternative path to sustenance. We rise. We heal. We allow our posterity to thrive. We become whole and leave the generational trauma behind. We begin anew for our children and their children. We have the ability to introduce a dissimilar way of being. Break the cycle.